My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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