how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
