Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
