Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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