Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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