I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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