i dont even know how to be here
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
