first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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