the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
