Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize