My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
