Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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