I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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