You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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