Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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