i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
