i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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