Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
