1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
