he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
