I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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