He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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