If i come over, it means nothing
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
