You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What a dumb baby whore.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
