Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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