in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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