I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
