I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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