I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
