so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
