id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
