So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
