What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
this hospital has no fireball
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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