so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
