you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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