i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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