if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
