i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
