it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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