It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize