I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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