Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
