I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Randomize
