Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
someone owes me an orgasm
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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