just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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