You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
