Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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