So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
