i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i barfeds in our rink
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
