You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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