God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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