Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
