they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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