So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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