Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize