My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
