God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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