We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
